Why Good Young Men Cheat

First off you're probably wondering how you can be a good man and cheat. Men and women define cheating in different ways. Where as a woman might see cheating as flirting with another female, spending too much time with another female, kissing, groping, and sex of any kind, A man might only see cheating as sex and not necessarily of any kind. So I have come to the conclusion as to why some, not all, younger guys cheat. You first get together and things are perfect. You two are so in love and everything is going just as planned. You see marriage and kids in the future and everything. Until one day you start hearing things. Things from other girls about him being with them. And when you question him he tells you its true but that he loves you and wants this to work. You are madly in love with him and you want it to work too so you forgive him, not taking into account that he may very well go cheat again. I have figured it out. Everything is perfect in the beginning because he's trying to see just what kind of girl you are. He's not really looking for a girlfriend to start with, you two just happen. Well he sees that your the type of girl that he could see himself marrying and having kids with, just not yet, but he feels that if he doesn't stay with you, by the time he's ready to settle down, somebody else will have you. So he takes the chance that you will stay while he has his fun. He has noticed your worth and he knows that someone else will notice it too if he's not with you. All the while, while he's out having his fun with his boys and different females, you're home wondering what you did wrong and hurting. He knows the pain that he's putting you through but his own selfish needs don't allow him to treat you the way he wants to. At least not right now. Now you think how can he love me and keep hurting me? Depending on what kind of man you have (hence me saying some in the beginning), he may not love you at all right now, but if you have a good one in the making, he loves you, he just has to get through this phase. Most men can't be tied down at a young age and its best not to because if you tie him down now, when he gets older he will just go through it then. So you have 3 choices; (1) be patient, (2) leave and wait on him, or (3) leave and don't wait but leave the opportunity there if he comes around and you are still available. These are hard choices and it depends on the girl. Some will stay and deal with it and some won't. Now these are choice only if you know you have a good man in the making. Not if you're with a dog. Cause once a dog, always a dog. So let me give you a few ways to tell if you're with a good man so you will be able to tell if this relates to you or not...

Ten Characteristics of Great Men
1. Great men have their priorities in line. They know what is truly important in life, and live accordingly.
2. Great men are tender with those in need of tenderness. They are kind to the elderly, children, and those with disabilities.
3. Great men respect and honor women. They don't objectify, degrade, or demean them.
4. Great men participate in the community. They may spend time volunteering, working for a cause, or being involved with a charity.
5. Great men are honest, and have a sense of morality, integrity, and decency. They have an internal awareness of what is or is not appropriate, good, right, or decent.
6. Great men have a sense of purpose. They do not waste inordinate amounts of time in from of the TV or playing video games. They can balance fun and relaxation with work and productivity.
7. Great men are continually expanding their minds. They do not think they know it all and are open to new ideas and insights.
8. Great men have a healthy sense of self. They are confident and secure while maintaining a sense of humility.
9. Great men help and assist others. Whether in their place of employment, in their daily lives, or in the greater world at large, they have a sense of giving back.
10. Great men are in touch with their feelings, emotions, concerns, and even shortcomings. They don't feel a need for pretense or power. They can cry, have compassion, and acknowledge mistakes. They can love and be loved.

Note, a great man is not measured by the amount of money he has, the kind of car he drives, the size of his biceps, or outward appearance. A great man reflects his greatness in his everyday life

All I can advise someone in this situation to do is pray about it and ask God to guide you to make the decision that is best for you.

~Shaunta~