Why Men Cheat...

What all women want to know...why men cheat. The reasons men cheat are very simple but us as women make everything complicated. So I'm going to tell you the reasons most men cheat.

1. Men cheat because they can - when it comes to men and sex, neither emotions nor meaning necessarily enter the equation. It’s easy—very easy—for a man to have sex, go home, wash it off with soap and water, and act like what he just did never happened. Sex can be a purely physical act for us—love has absolutely nothing to do with it. A man can love his wife, his children, his home, and the life that they’ve all built together, and have an incredible physical connection to her, and still get some from another woman without a second thought about it, because the actual act with the other woman meant nothing to him. It was something that may have made him feel good physically, but emotionally, his heart—the professing, providing, and protecting he saves for the woman he loves—may be at home with his woman.
2. Men cheat because they think they can get away with it - men will consider the risks of getting caught cheating on his lady. But mostly, men initiate affairs pretty confident that they’re going to get away with it, and most certainly with all kinds of confidence that if they get caught, their denials will see them through. A man who cheats has most certainly
   calculated the collateral damage that would come from getting busted—potential loss of the woman he loves, his children, his home, and his peace of mind—and he recognizes that this would be a devastating blow to all the things that matter in his life. Still, men don’t really ever think they’re going to get caught. Basically, they think that they’re slick and will go to great lengths to hide their infidelity from us, always with this in mind: if we don’t know about it, it can’t hurt us. They’re pretty confident that our willingness to be in a relationship with them supersedes all the things they do that look suspicious- that it’s more important to us to be with them in their imperfection that to leave them and be alone.
3. Men cheat because they haven't become who they truly want or need to be or he hasn't found who he truly wants - If a man hasn’t gotten where he wants to be in his life or where he needs to be, then he’s not going to be ready to figure out how settling down with one woman fits into his plans for becoming a truly independent, mature, well-off man.
4. Men cheat when what happening at home isn't "happening" like it used to - That’s right, it could have something to do with us. Your man may be walking around telling himself that your relationship just doesn’t have that spark anymore, that you don’t turn him on like you used to—that you don’t come on to him like you did when the two of you first fell in love. What’s back at the house has become routine. And this man is missing the spark that used to be there.
5. The main reason men cheat...Men cheat because there is always a woman out there willing to cheat with him - Imagine if every woman said, “You’re married—I can’t do that with you.” Man, do you know how many marriages and relationships would still exist today? Men can cheat because there are so many women willing to give themselves to a man who doesn’t belong to them. Sure, every now and again there are women who get fooled and don’t know that a man is already spoken for. A majority of the time, however, these women know they’re sleeping with a married man. Yes, these are the women who have no standards and requirements and who suffer from serious self-esteem issues, making themselves willing to cheat and available to be cheated on. If those women took themselves out of the cheater’s circle, the incidence of cheating would be cut seriously down.

A man is always going to have a reason to justify why he’s doing wrong, and those reasons will change from man to man and woman to woman. What’s important for you to understand, though, is that regardless of a man’s reasons, he knows what you know: it’s wrong to commit to someone and promise to remain faithful and then go against that—especially if this was one of your mate’s requirements. Women can go over it again and again in their minds, finding all kinds of deficiencies in themselves—“ I didn’t do this right,” “I wasn’t good enough,” “I didn’t love him the way I should,” “she came in here and outperformed me”—but the fact still remains that he didn’t have any business cheating. So women need to release themselves from the blame of a cheating man’s actions—just do that for yourselves. Because holding on to that baggage can be paralyzing; it can cripple you and keep you from performing in your next encounter. You simply cannot drive forward if you’re focused on what’s happening in the rearview mirror.

You can’t find out your man cheated, confront him about it, and then stay with him, only to question his every move and nag him about what he’s doing every chance you get. Because that simply means you never really forgave him, and you’re creating a situation that’s ripe for him to cheat again. You’ve got to either let him go, or find it in your heart to truly forgive the man and work on a way to move forward with him. Even though letting him go may be hard, it may be the only way to get him to recognize what he had and appreciate you for who and what you are to him.

~Shaunta~