Thursday, April 30, 2009
We'll Be Back Soon
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Why Men Cheat...
What all women want to know...why men cheat. The reasons men cheat are very simple but us as women make everything complicated. So I'm going to tell you the reasons most men cheat.
- Men cheat because they can - when it comes to men and sex, neither emotions nor meaning necessarily enter the equation. It’s easy—very easy—for a man to have sex, go home, wash it off with soap and water, and act like what he just did never happened. Sex can be a purely physical act for us—love has absolutely nothing to do with it. A man can love his wife, his children, his home, and the life that they’ve all built together, and have an incredible physical connection to her, and still get some from another woman without a second thought about it, because the actual act with the other woman meant nothing to him. It was something that may have made him feel good physically, but emotionally, his heart—the professing, providing, and protecting he saves for the woman he loves—may be at home with his woman.
- Men cheat because they think they can get away with it - men will consider the risks of getting caught cheating on his lady. But mostly, men initiate affairs pretty confident that they’re going to get away with it, and most certainly with all kinds of confidence that if they get caught, their denials will see them through. A man who cheats has most certainly
calculated the collateral damage that would come from getting busted—potential loss of the woman he loves, his children, his home, and his peace of mind—and he recognizes that this would be a devastating blow to all the things that matter in his life. Still, men don’t really ever think they’re going to get caught. Basically, they think that they’re slick and will go to great lengths to hide their infidelity from us, always with this in mind: if we don’t know about it, it can’t hurt us. They’re pretty confident that our willingness to be in a relationship with them supersedes all the things they do that look suspicious- that it’s more important to us to be with them in their imperfection that to leave them and be alone. - Men cheat because they haven't become who they truly want or need to be or he hasn't found who he truly wants - If a man hasn’t gotten where he wants to be in his life or where he needs to be, then he’s not going to be ready to figure out how settling down with one woman fits into his plans for becoming a truly independent, mature, well-off man.
- Men cheat when what happening at home isn't "happening" like it used to - That’s right, it could have something to do with us. Your man may be walking around telling himself that your relationship just doesn’t have that spark anymore, that you don’t turn him on like you used to—that you don’t come on to him like you did when the two of you first fell in love. What’s back at the house has become routine. And this man is missing the spark that used to be there.
- The main reason men cheat...Men cheat because there is always a woman out there willing to cheat with him - Imagine if every woman said, “You’re married—I can’t do that with you.” Man, do you know how many marriages and relationships would still exist today? Men can cheat because there are so many women willing to give themselves to a man who doesn’t belong to them. Sure, every now and again there are women who get fooled and don’t know that a man is already spoken for. A majority of the time, however, these women know they’re sleeping with a married man. Yes, these are the women who have no standards and requirements and who suffer from serious self-esteem issues, making themselves willing to cheat and available to be cheated on. If those women took themselves out of the cheater’s circle, the incidence of cheating would be cut seriously down.
A man is always going to have a reason to justify why he’s doing wrong, and those reasons will change from man to man and woman to woman. What’s important for you to understand, though, is that regardless of a man’s reasons, he knows what you know: it’s wrong to commit to someone and promise to remain faithful and then go against that—especially if this was one of your mate’s requirements. Women can go over it again and again in their minds, finding all kinds of deficiencies in themselves—“ I didn’t do this right,” “I wasn’t good enough,” “I didn’t love him the way I should,” “she came in here and outperformed me”—but the fact still remains that he didn’t have any business cheating. So women need to release themselves from the blame of a cheating man’s actions—just do that for yourselves. Because holding on to that baggage can be paralyzing; it can cripple you and keep you from performing in your next encounter. You simply cannot drive forward if you’re focused on what’s happening in the rearview mirror.
You can’t find out your man cheated, confront him about it, and then stay with him, only to question his every move and nag him about what he’s doing every chance you get. Because that simply means you never really forgave him, and you’re creating a situation that’s ripe for him to cheat again. You’ve got to either let him go, or find it in your heart to truly forgive the man and work on a way to move forward with him. Even though letting him go may be hard, it may be the only way to get him to recognize what he had and appreciate you for who and what you are to him.
~Shaunta~
How to tell if a man is looking for a keeper or a throwback...
1. If his conversation with you is extremely superficial,
and never seems to graduate beyond the surface, he’s
looking for a throwback; if he genuinely seems interested in your
needs, life, desires, and future, then he’s looking for a
keeper.
2. If he laughs off your requirements and standards, then
he’s looking for a throwback; if he seems willing to abide by your
rules, and actually follows through on them, then he’s
looking for a keeper.
3. If he takes your phone number but waits longer than
twenty-four hours to call, he’s looking for a throwback; if he calls
you right away, he’s showing that he’s genuinely
interested in you, and is most likely looking for a
keeper.
4. If he takes you out on a date and lets you pay, or only
kicks in his portion of the bill, he’s looking for a throwback; if he
pays the bill, he’s showing that he’s willing to provide
for you, which means he’s likely looking for a keeper.
5. If he tells you he’s going to be somewhere at a certain
time, and he consistently shows up late without so
much as the courtesy of a phone call, he’s probably
looking for a throwback; if he shows up when he’s supposed to,
he’s looking for a keeper.
6. If you never meet his friends, family, co-workers,
or other people who are important to him, he’s looking for a throwback;
if he introduces you to his people, he might
be looking for a keeper.
7. If he keeps offering up excuses for why he can’t
meet your friends and family, he’s looking for a throwback;
if he agrees to go to the family barbecue or a social event
where he will be introduced to family, friends, and
co-workers, he might consider you a keeper.
8. If he cringes at the mere mention of children, he’s
looking for a throwback; if he’s willing to meet your kids and
shows up with gifts and can relate to them in a way
that makes them comfortable with him, then he
might consider you and your kids keepers.
9. If he does not have himself together financially,
emotionally, and spiritually, he may be looking for a throwback;
if he is capable of providing and protecting his
potential family the way a real man should, then he
might be searching for a keeper.
10. If he lobbies for an “open” relationship and says he’s
cool with you seeing other people, then he’s looking for a throwback;
if he wants your relationship to be exclusive
and he agrees to date only you, he considers you a
keeper.
Know the signs...don't be a throwback
~Shaunta~
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Are you a keeper or a throwback?
1. A woman who commands respect is a keeper; a
woman who lets men get away with disrespecting her
is a throwback.
2. A woman who is dressed appropriately—has her
goodies reasonably covered, but is still sexy, is a
keeper; a woman who is scantily clad and dripping sex
is a throwback.
3. A woman who won’t let you feel all over her body
while you’re dancing is a keeper; a woman who drops
it like it’s hot and puts on a dance floor performance
that would make video vixen Karrine Steffans blush is
a throwback.
4. A woman who takes a man’s number but doesn’t give
him her own is a keeper; a woman who hands out her
home, work, and cell phone numbers and e-mail and
home addresses to a man who’s done nothing more
than buy her a drink and ask how he can reach her is
a throwback.
5. A woman who can hold a respectful, respectable
conversation with a man and his mother is a keeper; a
woman who shudders at the prospect of having to talk
to the matriarch of a man’s family is a throwback.
6. A woman who can adapt to any situation thrown at
her—she can hold her own at the PTA meeting, in
the boardroom, in a restaurant, at a sporting event—
is a keeper; a woman who can’t put together a
coherent sentence or makes it clear she has no interest
in doing so is a throwback.
7. A woman who knows she wants to be married and
raise a family and lets a man know this up front
is a keeper; a woman who doesn’t have a plan for
her relationship life beyond next weekend is a
throwback.
8. A woman whom we can introduce to our friends and
family is a keeper; a woman we don’t even bother
introducing to our friends or family is a throwback.
9. A woman who smiles and takes care of herself and is
generally happy with her life is a keeper; a woman
who doesn’t take care of herself and is sour all the
time, has an attitude wider than all the ocean, and
doesn’t hesitate to lay somebody out for the slightest
transgression is a throwback.
10. A woman who shows her appreciation for all that you
do for her is a keeper; a woman who acts like nothing
you do can make her happy is a throwback.
11. A woman who is loyal is a keeper; a woman who
always has her eye out for the next best thing is a
throwback.
12. A woman who understands that a man validates his
manhood by who he is, what he does, and how much
he makes, and who knows how to finesse her
relationship so that her man feels like he’s handling
his business is a keeper; a woman who wields her
paycheck and influence like a sword and belittles his
career and financial contributions is a throwback.
~Shaunta~
Pet Peeve of the Week...
Who doesn't have a PET PEEVE...if you say you don't have one, you should be looking for your nose to grow like Pinnochio because you are lying[looking for the growing noses]..a pet peeve can be something so simple like people who chew gum out loud, to slow wallkin people on the sidewalks[my personal favorite]..so being that pet peeves can range from anything...-im gonna do a top 10..YES i SAID TOP 10 list of things that annoy me..PERSONALLY-Enjoy!
Delayed...
So for the past two days we've missed the Quote of the Week[Thursday] & the Pet Peeve of the Week[Friday]...Its just so hard to try to do so much in one day with your personal life and your social life...SO HERE IS A VERY LATE[never will happen again] Quote of the Week && Pet Peeve of the Week..Enjoy! =]
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Why Good Young Men Cheat
Ten Characteristics of Great Men
1. Great men have their priorities in line. They know what is truly important in life, and live accordingly.
2. Great men are tender with those in need of tenderness. They are kind to the elderly, children, and those with disabilities.
3. Great men respect and honor women. They don't objectify, degrade, or demean them.
4. Great men participate in the community. They may spend time volunteering, working for a cause, or being involved with a charity.
5. Great men are honest, and have a sense of morality, integrity, and decency. They have an internal awareness of what is or is not appropriate, good, right, or decent.
6. Great men have a sense of purpose. They do not waste inordinate amounts of time in from of the TV or playing video games. They can balance fun and relaxation with work and productivity.
7. Great men are continually expanding their minds. They do not think they know it all and are open to new ideas and insights.
8. Great men have a healthy sense of self. They are confident and secure while maintaining a sense of humility.
9. Great men help and assist others. Whether in their place of employment, in their daily lives, or in the greater world at large, they have a sense of giving back.
10. Great men are in touch with their feelings, emotions, concerns, and even shortcomings. They don't feel a need for pretense or power. They can cry, have compassion, and acknowledge mistakes. They can love and be loved.
Note, a great man is not measured by the amount of money he has, the kind of car he drives, the size of his biceps, or outward appearance. A great man reflects his greatness in his everyday life
All I can advise someone in this situation to do is pray about it and ask God to guide you to make the decision that is best for you.
~Shaunta~
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Pic of the WEEK
In case you've been hiding under a ROCK[or studying for finals..yea its that time of year..again] you've couldn't help but notice this all over the internet...Singer Cassie stated she wanted, "Something that displayed the "I dont give a fuck" attitude that was always present. So I figured it had to be these TOP 3 reasons why Cassie decided to go forward and display this "I dont give a fuck attitude."
Bitchassness is back on the Scene
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Bad Kids...enough said
So I was gonna save this for later...but I started talking to a friend about the bad kids that she is babysitting at the moment...so...I'm gonna talk about bad kids and their parents. So my friend is being nice and taking time out of her busy day to babysit these kids that range from 5 to 13 (or something like that). First of all, seems like these kids could babysit themselves for the amount of time that she's there but anyway...so this little 5 year old boy decides he wants to have a tantrum and is screaming for his "mommy" and throwing toys...which are aimed at my friend...the babysitter...so what does she do...(1) Beat that ass...(2) Block the toys in hopes that it ends soon...or (3) go take the toys from him and put him in "time out"...well first impression would be to beat that ass...but since this is a job and we want to act accordingly number 3 would be the correct choice...ok..now for the parents. While she babysits, the dad is at work...but the mom...is usually there at the house...now I'm thinking what is she doing that is not important enough for her to leave the house but too important for her to do it and watch her kids that are old enough to behave while she's in the house...What is the point of having children when u hardly spend any time with them...when they go to school and come home to a babysitter who sometimes even puts them to bed...For me, I dont understand how a parent can lay sleeping in their bedroom while their 2yr old daughter is crying and screaming for them at their door...what am I as a babysitter supposed to do? Tell her to quiet down because her mama and daddy are trying to sleep...or just let her cry...And what gets me is parents that know their kids are bad but when you tell them that they did something they act like they have never done it before or they laugh at it...how can you be proud about having unrully kids that don't respect or listen to anyone...even you...
~Shaunta~
Which is better?...
~Shaunta~
...Love Live Life..
You know one of those nights when you can't sleep because you have so much on your mind..-well this was one of those nights for me and the question on my mind was..exactly what do people mean when they say LOVE LIVE LIFE?...everyone uses it, but can they tell you exactly what it means to them?..and why they use it?....so being the person I am...-I decided to write a little poem on what my definition of LOVE LIVE LIFE was...-so here goes..enjoy!
*They Say you stumble across many feet in this thing called "LIFE"--well..I came across one foot that still has me stumbling--and I dont think I would ever fall-to get back up and stumble again... I'm afraid that I'll be stumbling on that one foot forever::.(LOVE WILL HAVE YOU STUMBLING AND TRIPPING OVER THINGS THAT AREN'T THERE).I'm trying to get through this thing called "LIFE"--to my dismay I didn't know it would be so much bad weather--I'm walking down the street of "LIFE" and I come to a crossroad..Two signs stand in front of me-one reading Consequences and the other reading Desires...from my knowledge you cannot get through life without learning from your consequences-or is it that your true desires can give you consequences that you aren't yet prepared to conquer.(IN ORDER TO LIVE YOU HAVE TO TAKE CHANCES). In this thing called "LIFE" image is very important. People should worry about their character and not their reputation. Your Character defines who you are, and your reputation is only what people think of you. (THIS IS JUST ONE OF THOSE LIFE LESSONS...-you know the ones your grandmother always tells you to follow by)
This is called "LOVE"-LIVE"-LIFE.."
I'm on a roll.....
Fashion Tip of the Week - Top 5 Ways to Know You Shouldn't Wear That to Work
1. If you look like you can leave work and go straight to happy hour...you shouldn't wear that to work.
2. If you look like you got out your bed, into your car, and came to work...you shouldn't wear that to work.
3. If you look like your co-workers should be throwing dollar bills at you...you shouldn't wear that to work.
4. If you can't bend over without the whole office getting a peek...you shouldn't wear that to work.
And last but not least...
5. If you look like you could be the star act at the Ringling Brothers Circus...you shouldn't wear that to work.
Line up for the week...
Monday-Video of the Week
Tuesday-Fashion tip of the Week
Wednesday-Pic of the Week
Thursday-Quote of the Week
Friday-Pet Peeve of the Week
You are welcome to give us ideas for other weekly ideas...but until then...this is the line up until otherwise posted...:-)
The question that sparked it all...
~Shaunta~